The Lord saw good ; I was lopping off wood,
And down fell from the tree;
I met with a check, and I broke my neck,
And so Death lopped off me.
Published in Funny Epitaphs, Boston: The Mutual Book Company, 1900.
Here lies the bones of Susan Louder,
Who perished while drinking a Sedlitz powder.1
At last she’s gone to her heavenly rest;
She should have waited till it effervesced.
Published in the Proceedings of the Fifteenth Annual Meeting of the Nebraska State Pharmaceutical Association, 1896
1From Wikipedia: Seidlitz powder is the common name of a medication made with a mixture of tartaric acid, sodium bicarbonate, and potassium sodium tartrate and used as a mild cathartic by dissolving in water and drinking.
Dad, a Home Guard, when in liquor,
Missed his target—killed the Vicar;
With more practice, like as not,
Dad may be a better shot.
Published in TIME magazine, February 28, 1944, in a report on Time and Tide’s contest for war time “ruthless rhymes.”