Man’s life’s a vapor, and full of woes,
He cuts a caper, and down he goes.

Published in Funny Epitaphs, Boston: The Mutual Book Company, 1902.

Here lies the body of Jonathan Near
Whose mouth is stretched from ear to ear.
Tread softly, stranger, o’er this wonder,
For if he yawns, you’re gone, by thunder!

Published in Funny Epitaphs, Boston: The Mutual Book Company, 1902.

Here lies one who for medicine would not give
  A little gold, and so his life he lost:
I fancy now he’d wish again to live
  Could he but guess how much his funeral cost.

Published in Funny Epitaphs, Boston: The Mutual Book Company, 1902.

Under this sod, beneath these trees,
Lieth the pod of Solomon Pease.
Pease is not here, but only his pod,
He shelled out his soul and went up to God.

Published in Funny Epitaphs, Boston: The Mutual Book Company, 1902.

Here lies the body of Johnny Haskell,
A lying, thieving, cheating rascal;
He always lied, and now he lies,
He has no soul and cannot rise.

Published in Funny Epitaphs, Boston: The Mutual Book Company, 1902.